i've always kinda loved sad/emo songs (and i've noticed sad songs are generally like sad break up/unrequited love songs gosh... what a surprise haha) and lately i can't stop listening to them. my playlist today included damien rice, joshua radin (love the cello in their music) and anna nalick . i've had damien rice's delicate and anna nalick's wreck of the day stuck in my head.
hahaha i like this line, its really clever
'cause love doesn't hurt, so i know i'm not falling in love,
i'm just falling to pieces...
- wreck of the day anna nalick
i picked up the cello for the first time in ages the other day, a little rusty... and the callouses on my fingers have to be built up again. haha but its coming back to me (you'd hope so right? after all that time and energy invested) actually i think most of the time, when you learn music, you want to be able to play without thinking, to have practiced it so much that you've memorized it so that when nerves kick in, you won't draw a blank and it has already become second nature. instinct i guess? fingers just moving on their own accord.
its funny how when you don't have that added pressure of exams, it becomes so much more enjoyable.
create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me -Psalm 51:10
teach me Your way, O Lord, and i will walk in Your truth, give me an undivided heart, that i may fear Your name. -Psalm 86:11
my flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever -Psalm 73:26
in Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name -Psalm 33:21
my heart says of You, "seek His face!" Your face, Lord i will seek - Psalm 27:8
trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all of your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path -Proverbs 3:5-6
love the Lord your God with all your heart and will all your soul and with all your strength -Deuteronomy 6:5
since then, you have been raised with Christ, set your heart on the things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God -Colossians 3:1
mmm... You know me better than i know myself. message heard loud and clear... haha
i'm wrestling with my own heart. but there is Hope yet. thankful that i have Your promises to cling onto...
so i lay it down...... again. its a good thing You're so patient with me! hahaha
one step. one step at a time.
to always be striving to the point that when i say, i heart You, You know i mean it. with all my heart. with Your help. only with Your help.
love is proactive, not reactive or passive. see a need and meet it.
only with Gods help.
You are amazing God
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From Him, the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. - Ephesians 4:14-16
the random things that make me laugh... and make me look like a complete weirdo....
i saw a guy stroking his beard the other day... and was strangely amused... then i caught the thought rushing through my head heyyy if i had a beard... i would totally fiddle with it too.. twirl it between my fingers like i twirl my hair...woahhhhhh where did that come from? visual of amy with a beard... ewwwww.. gross DON'T SAY IT! whatever u were gonna say!! DON'T SAY IT!
A little kid trying to convince his mum to get him some candy or something: please?please?please?please?please? i think by the end of the train ride, everyone was silently begging the mother to get him the candy... hahaha
and then there are those times when highschool kids talk is such loud voices. ohhhh he's so in love with you! like... did u see the way he looked ur way... it was like... longer than 5 seconds.. you guys would like, make, like, the most beautiful, like, kids? (honestly though... why would u talk that loud on the train with such an embarrassing topic eh?) its a struggle not to laugh...haha but there certainly is major mental eyerolling going on my part. and then the other half of me that thinks... pleeeeease tell me i was not like that!
girls need attention and boys need us, so lets make everybody glad reasons to love you - Meiko
this song came up on random today for my music player on the tram and i couldn't help the little laugh that escaped. i got a couple of weird looks..... haha true or not? girls are attention seeking? and guys can't live without us girls? HAHA
actually... come to think of it, most of my embarrassing.. why-on-earth-is-she-laughing? looks or inch-away-from-the-crazy-girl-slowly moments happen on the train.
i kinda like train rides home... specially on a nice sunny day. nice reflective time
on a side note. when i was walking home from the train station today, this cat tried to follow me home... was really cute... haha it kept weaving itself between my legs... and prancing ahead before waiting for me to catch up... adorable! still a dog person at heart though... =D
okileydokiley =D thats all from me today. i'm doing pretty good... a post a day for the last 2 days? she says in a smug voice... haha i think i'm talking a bit like the occassionalbutsilentblogreader. haha krys i love this joining all your words thing... since meeting u its become second nature to be able to read it... and guessing acronyms!
and its a little embarrassing to think about herself just a couple of years ago. major cringing when she thinks of how she acted back then. she winces as she reads through her journals and diaries. spelling errors here, huge grammatical mistakes there. all those so called grievous wrongs committed against her that threatened her very happiness seem so very trivial now. at this point, she cannot comprehend why she wasted so much energy and effort. she is amazed by how different her priorities were, the amount of time she ate away, obsessing and feeding her heart with useless nothings. and she groans at how ridiculous those 'crushes' were. she realizes just how young she was, and how she was in such a hurry to grow up. then she catches herself wondering gosh... is this what it feels like to be old and maturing??? bahhhhh!!!
shes been in a reflective mood lately. re-evaluating certain priorities, characteristics and flaws. sometimes (more often than not) she struggles to focus, coming to the realization just how easy it is for other things to take her heart. He reminds her to seek Him first. in the quiet and stillness she prays for an undivided heart. to be desperate for more. to hear His voice.
and He is faithful. He constantly makes her new, shaping and molding her heart.
she is constantly in awe of how far He has brought her. of how He walks with her and calls her His.
Your grace has found me just as i am, empty handed but alive in Your hands forever i am changed by Your love
i think this is going to be a really long post... (i'm crediting this idea to tallulah)
to all my girls: sorry if i've missed anyone out... haha but i've been so very blessed by all of you... and i'm soo thankful that God has placed you into my life. thank you for being you! haha
carina tallulah lau: you truly are beautiful... inside and out... and my first impression was so very off! (IQ you are not!) you've provided so many smiles and laughs... and i've sooo enjoyed our talks too! i really think you underestimate the joy that you bring into our lives =D little ray of sunshine!
gayle: haha i have to think up a nickname for u... what can i say? thank you for listening to me! you're such a great listener! hahaha i've so enjoyed our talks... haha its like you know exactly how to respond... the ohh nos!! or awwwwwwwwwwsss... or laughing at my lame jokes..hahaha its been so nice to chat and see that we aren't alone in it all, thank you for your encouragement =D hehe
stesh: don't know whether you read my blog... haha but you have been sooo great! thank you for opening up your home to me! your hospitality has been unbelievable... and you are such a blessing to everyone around you... including me! haha thank you for being so warm and friendly when we first met! haha i immediately liked you =D hehe and that first impression was spot on =D hehehe...i like you even more! take care ok?
giggly little girl chui: hahaha its been loads of fun! haha i know we tease you heaps for always laughing and giggling... but its actually a joy to see you unable to stop... haha so don't stop! =D
kelly (pelly?): i know you read my blog at some point... not sure bout now.. haha but you have such a sweet personality and a pure heart... truly. =D hehe you're a lovely person! keep smiling =)
steph: haha you seriously seriously make me laugh! haha i love how genuine you are... haha and you say the funniest things! hehe really enjoyed getting to know you!!!
krys: i can't begin to describe how much you have encouraged and blessed me... thank you so much! mm... seeing you and the way that you seek God has really spurred me on... you are a wonderful role model and great race partner! lets catch up soon yes?? hehe hope your assignments are going well! =D
jan: hahaha i'm so looking forward to our august date! u are such a warm person and the love that you have for God is amazing... take care in Singapore!!!
frances: haha noo idea whether you read my blog... hahah but we miss you!! and we miss cutie and sweetie! i'm beginning to really appreciate just how much effort you put last year... and really... thank you so much! you are such a blessing... keep running the race well!!!
trace: babe, i really hope that your eye gets better... take care of yourself yes? ur gorgeous!!! hehe thanks for all the good memories... for all the squeals... phone calls...too much informations... and embarrassing me in public... hahaha i can always trust you to be honest with me... sweetheart you are irreplaceable! hehe looking forward to more great times in the future! tehehe (btw... i tried to look for the brightest pink... but i think this is the brightest pink there is)
phoony: its funny how we know you too well... does it scare you that trace and i can read you that well?? haha thanks for all the lifts sweetheart! haha even though u freak me out everytime you go through those yellow lights... you really are cutting it close you know? yellow to red? very close. thank you for your generosity! u've been like a sister to me (as have you trace... if you've read this far... haha despite knowing all each others faults... hehe still love you!) really consider you part of the family.... haha we should catch up more... yes girls? study hard phoon!!! study hard!!!
last but not least... mummy: mmm... i thank God everyday for you... i don't know what i would be if i had not been born into your love and encouragement..... thank you so much for all your prayers, sacrifice and love. thank you for being my number one fan (apart from daddy as well) haha and my greatest (constructive) critic. mm truly God is amazing to have given me a mother like you =) i'll never grow out of being your daughter... hahaha
hehe love you all! hahah all warm and fuzzy now... hahaha that was fun! hehe take care beautiful girls!
haha sorry to the guys who do read this blog and i haven't written anything for u... hahaha all i can say is that... if i did... i would be suggesting that i considered you one of my girls.. sooooooo be thankful u weren't included... haha but i reckon all you guys in my life rock too!!!
I think we all know that today's perception of beauty is distorted . that , as girls, in the back of our minds we are aware that those images of 'beautiful' women that we are bombarded with , are in fact not realistic and photo-shopped. and yet it is still such a struggle for us. our sense of self worth has been so battered. our hearts have been so bruised. and the worse thing is, we are embarrassed by our desire to be considered beautiful.
it is really is a journey... finding our validation, confidence and assurance in our FirstLove. TheOne who is so deeply in love with us. we will never find someone who will complete us, and we will fail if we search for that in people. God longs to pursue us, He longs for us to seek His face. and i know the thing that really gets me is: He will never reject your heart. His Love never fails. He loves us unconditionally.. unconditionally. you don't have to struggle with your quest to be beautiful. because you are beautiful...
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theres something about children... life is a thrilling adventure to them. black and white. princesses and warriors. delighting in small things. never worrying about tomorrow. no shame. living in each moment. never artificial laughs. cheeky grins. capable of such adoration. naive and trusting. firm little grip of their hand.
for real. my roof has a hole in it... well... 2... and i'm trying to figure out whether the first hole is supposed to be there.... and that sounded stranger than it needed to be... let me explain: well... there appears to be a gap between 2 tiles in maybe what is the apex of the roof? it seems pretty straight? like... as though it was intentionally placed there? although... granted, i am not entirely sure if it is supposed to be there, or whether the builder did shoddy work... or perhaps the storm caused two separate holes in the roof. I mean... what purpose would a hole in the roof serve? evidently it's not there for ventilation. haha... anyway... hole number 1 doesn't seem to allow water in... (which is a good thing... and makes me more inclined to be unusually fond of hole number 1 because it adds character to my house) whilst the other hole, hole number 2 is clearly not meant to be there... and is now allowing drop drop drops of water into our house... time to call roof seal? 18007070? hahaha if that is the correct number... then the jingle has successfully managed to brainwash me and do its job... oh no... i can foresee this jingle being stuck in my head for a while to come... QUICK give me another song to replace it with!
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April 12, 2008 at 5:42 AM
